1.three days in Vegas
2.Strippers in the rooms everynight
3.hit the clubs ,find chicks, get them drunk, then back to the room for after hours party.
4. Purchase tickets, at some hotel, to sit at the topless pool.
I couldn%26#039;t believe it. I told him, thats not going down. I wont let him celebrate getting married to me, by letting some cheap trick, slide her crappy crotch all over him, then bring that back to me, and no way I would let him spend money getting a girl drunk, and grinding on the dance floor with them, then to invite them back,even if his friends did, I am sure he would have to play along.I told him, everyone would be drunk, and not so in control over his male emotions and peer pressure,and anything could happen,The straw the broke the camels back, was one of them suggested, they all wear suits, Because girls will think they are ballers,rich, then they will come with their click, and hang out, get them drunk, get nasty on the dance floor, then invite them back to the hotel room, for some party...guess what..He went out and bought a suit.
My guts hurt right now, knowing he wanted this. Just knowing he wanted this, is killing me. I will not negotiate on this one, I wont try to stop this, I already know this is what he wanted. I have been hurting over three weeks, when i see that suit I want to burn it,Today he mentioned, monday we are going out, to find the venue, and catering... It doesn%26#039;t matter to me anymore, Eight years together, and he would do this to me.He asked me to marry him three months ago. I was so happy...
I am leaving, and that wont change, everything hurts so bad, but I just don%26#039;t know how to say it, I know he will try to talk me out of it, But i already know what he was hopping for, In vegas...that wont change...Please tell me someone..how do i do this....?How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?Ugh... just reading your question made me sick to my stomach. I know exactly how you feel. I have been with my boyfriend for ten years and recently we%26#039;ve been talking about a wedding. The bachelor party got brought up because last year his friend got married and his bachelor party got out of control crazy and caused a bunch of problems, not only for him and his wife but for every other guy there with a wife or a girlfriend. It came down to drugs, strippers, tons of booze, and my boyfriend and his bestest disappearing for three hours inside the strip club (by that I mean, they ditched the rest of his buddies and somehow managed to lose everyone else that came with them INSIDE the club for 3 hours...and my honey drove so no one could leave because he couldn%26#039;t be found, but his car was still in the parking lot the whole time). His best man actually called his wife to come pick him up (you know it must have been bad) which is how it all came out. He of course said then that it was all his friend and he was just along for the ride. I wasn%26#039;t happy, but I really believed him so it passed. Anyway, when we started talking about the wedding, I told him the party his friend had was not happening. He told me they already planned something similar to what your fiance and friends had in mind (minus actually admiting that that they were planning on getting girls drunk to take them back to the hotel! What the hell are they thinking?!). Anyway, caused a huge blowout. We%26#039;ve since tried talking about it and he%26#039;s appologized, and said he would %26quot;scale it down%26quot; but part of me just can%26#039;t feel the same about him. That he would want to do any of that at all just makes me sick, and he would want to celebrate our wedding like that makes me...ugh...I don%26#039;t even know...it%26#039;s a terrible feeling. Not to mention he actually fought with me for his %26quot;right%26quot; to %26quot;celebrate%26quot; like this!
I really don%26#039;t know what to tell you. Good for you that you%26#039;re leaving, especially after 8 years. I still haven%26#039;t had the guts to. I know I don%26#039;t want to marry him for sure, but it%26#039;s so hard to cut ties after so long. I would just tell him that the whole thing made you realize he%26#039;s not the person you thought he was, and to tell the truth he makes you sick. Tell him that you don%26#039;t want to spend the rest of your life with someone that obviously has such little respect for you to even consider such things. That%26#039;s all you need to say, you really don%26#039;t owe him anything. I think he can figure the rest out on his own. I know it sucks, I%26#039;m sorry. Good luck to you, you will be better off without him!How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?SAY **** YOU WERE OVERHow and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?Just tell him that there is no need to waste money on a venue and catering, because the marriage is not going to take place. Tell him that you have had it. If Vegas is more important than you are, then go for it!!!How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?tell him ASAP, over email if you have to
he needs to know that this is a deal breaker for you
in time for him to not do it, if that is his choice.
But absolutely do not going looking for a venue until you have communicated this.
Be prepared - he may well decide that he wants the party more than the weddingHow and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?write down all the reasons you can%26#039;t go through with your wedding. when you discuss it, read the reasons and expand on them with the emotions you feel even having to say them aloud. this will help ensure you remember all the reasons and will show that it meant so much to you that you took time out of your day to make a list. i agree with you because it%26#039;s kind of a perverted thing and he should already be satisfied with getting married to you that he doesn%26#039;t need to go out looking once last time if anything%26#039;s better. i love how you%26#039;re keeping your backbone on this!How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?Just tell him you f***ed up you knew the rules and its over you will find another guy who loves and respect your feelings.How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?Please sit him down and tell him about how you are feeling.Believe me if he truely loves and values you he will not stuff around on you because some one would be bound to slip out with it.In a marriage there has to be alot of trust between you both so please if you have any doubts now about not trusting the guy you are planning to marry then call it quits now before you reach the alter.How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?It is unbelievable that in 8 years you never knew he had this kind of streak in him! I%26#039;m will you... just hand him the ring and tell him to please leave.How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?This is like removing a bandage, you just have to do it fast. It%26#039;s going to hurt, but it will hurt less than any other way you try to go about it. If you%26#039;ve been together 8 years, I would say he at least deserves to hear the news in person, no matter how you feel, but getting it done is more important than getting it done right. So if doing it in person is too difficult, then do it over the phone.How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?You are right on it girl! Stick to your guns on this one, absolutely.
Right now, is a BIG RED FLAG showing you that he is more down to please his friends than you. And that part will not change once that piece of paper is signed. You will only become the %26quot;Nagging Wife%26quot;
This is like one of those movies I have watched on TV. Keep in mind, it was all good, and now he is making the mistake of screwing it all up. It is HIS choice. Your choice is...are you going to let it slide? If so, then be prepared to let alot of this kind of crap slide after the marriage.
Follow your gut, if he starts saying your being immature or something, let that be your Big Fat Warning!
It%26#039;s a shame that you loved and admired him enough to marry him, then he has to pull this crap..but that IS a warning!!How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?You have to follow your heart, which it sounds like your heart is con-flicked. Which is totally understandable. It%26#039;s hard to see why men would want to do such a degradable event. It is tradition that he has a bachelor party and you have to trust that he wouldn%26#039;t risk losing you. The woman he has been with for 8 years. Have you ever had a reason to doubt his faithfulness to you? My friend was in this situation that you described and she was just as angry as you seem to be. The way I explained it to her is that you have to have trust and that if he doesn%26#039;t have at least a bachelor party then he will get so much grief from his friends.
I would definitely be upset that he went out an bought a suit. I think you should talk to him now, explain to him that you see him practically cheating on you from the sound of how the party is going down.
You have to be honest with him, but do you really want to throw away 8 years with him. Talk to him. Make time to REALLY talk to him. Be honest!How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?WTF?...Didn%26#039;t you already post this question last week? But I think seriously, you need to get over this. Tell him how you feel and I am sure you mean more to him than this bachelor party he is planning. You are being very unfair not sharing these feelings with him. You can not let your relationship go down like this. Give him a chance please!!! Yeah he%26#039;s being stupid considering this thing but alot of guys AND GIRLS go and do things like this before they get married so maybe he thinks your ok with it. Please just talk to him and tell him how you feel WIHTOUT argueing, be nice and tell him how upset you are. PLEASE!!! If you don%26#039;t you will be making a big mistake!How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?ok I didn%26#039;t read this b/c it%26#039;s to long but plewase tell him ASAP!!!!How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?tell him asap, and say all the reasons you%26#039;ve just given. don%26#039;t let him have a say. swear. scream. break something of his. then calmly hand him his things that you have already packed for him and show him to the door.How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?tell him today. i suggest you tell him right now.How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?If you can%26#039;t face him and talk to him about how this makes you feel then you are better off not getting married - yet. You need to be able to talk about what%26#039;s bothering you and not just assuming that those you love should know how you feel. And if it bothers you that much, and he can%26#039;t understand why, perhaps you just aren%26#039;t on the same page about what is and isn%26#039;t acceptable in your relationship.That is a very real problem that, if you still want to, should be worked out before you look at venues and the like.How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?You have been together for eight years and you think that he has not seen a stripper in that time?
There is a significant attitude that guys need to sow those oats BEFORE the wedding. I won%26#039;t say I agree or not.
I will say this has NOTHING to do with doing anything to YOU.
It sounds like you think that a wedding means he should never want to see a stripper, naked woman, or video, or porn mag, a steamy DVD, or an art museum, adult Cirque du Sole or, or or,
It comes down to YOU being slighted for something not so out of the ordinary. It also seems you are looking for something as a reason to back out. Worse it sounds like you are drawing this line in the sand that if he does not do what YOU WANT you will not marry him.
Do him a favor and get out now.
No guy needs to bite off that kind of controlling woman.
In the long run he will probably still go to Las Vegas and celebrate with those same strippers for being free of a marriage full of controlling behavior.
You could use a large amount of maturity.How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?I understand that you are upset, and maybe you have a right to be, but honey what does that bachelor party have to do with your relationship with that man?
Too many women wear their insecurities on their sleeves and smother their men. Men are pack animals and their thinking is not done with their brain. All your indignities will not change that. You can either control it, or let it dictate your life.
I suggest strongly, if you love this man, that you simply tell him that you feel what he is planning is not appropriate for a man with his character, and while you will not stand in his way, you are very disappointed with his choices.
I guess the bottom line is, what do you want? Do you want to be this man%26#039;s wife or not? If so, do what you need to do, and realize its not about you. How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?I think you are right to call off this wedding. Despite eight years of history with you, your boyfriend is obviously not mature enough to make a commitment to you that is based on trust and loyalty. His immature friends%26#039; idea of a %26quot;good time%26quot; is more important to him than appearing honourable and decent in his wife-to-be%26#039;s eyes.
So yes, tell him the wedding%26#039;s off, tell him the relationship%26#039;s off, tell him you hope he has a nice life with his buddies, because he%26#039;ll be having it without you. Then follow through.How and when do I tell him, the wedding is off, and I am leaving?Heck.. I wouldn%26#039;t stand for that crap either- however, I know you are just blowing off steam and you will let bygones be bygones and it won%26#039;t take but one little word from him to smooth this over and it will be on like donkey kong.
I would say he has a history anyway by the way you just blew up. I don%26#039;t blame you-I would too-but, then again-if you are seriously irate over the matter and if you are here getting advice on this type of thing... you already know the answer anyway on what you need to do, as there may be other underlining issues that just led up to this point that you feel you need to leave. Think about it long and hard and go with your heart and do what you need to do.
