I tumbled through the weed and brush looking for it so I could change back. Across a small clearing and through the leaves, I saw it, my salvation. My feet pounded against the soil as I raced. I met the edge of the small lagoon and jumped in spiraling to the bottom and feeling the wild swirl of water bursting me into the air with the most graceful violence. I felt my wings sprout from my back, and my hair return to the glossy blue I have always had. My skin was once again an alabaster white with the small droplets of water glittering along its smooth surface. The spiraling water began to die off as I let the last of the whirl pool drip from my pointed toes, and allowed my self to stand upon the waters rippling surface.
I collapse right there, to tired to think, just enough energy to lie there so still and quietly. I could hear my mother’s voice now, telling me how foolish I am being.
“Torrent! Are you listening? How can you be so careless? It is your first day of boarding school, and you ran out of third period class. And you are just letting yourself sit there where people can see you! You could get discovered!” The illusion of my mother yelled wagging her flaming red finger in my face.
Mom would not get it. She is not a water faerie, just a fire faerie. She had no clue of the disadvantages I had. Mom could go by any fire and not be destroyed by the fire; she would just grow stronger while I would grow weaker. That is why I had to leave third period, we had to use a flame stove. I could feel the flesh on my skin evaporating as soon as it was turned on. People are probably worried considering I jumped out the third story window, like I could actually die like that.
A loud scream came from the distance; I could recognize the voice too. It was Mr. Coraletti, screaming my name, his lungs huffing with exasperation.
“Change…” I said clearly.
I felt the water lift me up and the brazen blue light wash over me. My skin turned to what felt like cold fire and a swift breeze washed over me. My feet tapped on something solid lightly and there I was, on the ground with my glamour on. I stumbled over to a tree that grazed on the waters edge and collapsed on the ground though I felt like pure adrenaline was being pushed through my veins. My toe lightly tapped the waters surface and a ripple was sent out.
The sound of my huffing teacher was getting closer as I closed my eyes to concentrate on not changing back into a faerie.
“Tori,” he huffed with relief and anger.
“It’s Torrent, not Tori.” I said calmly.
I opened my eyes, there stood Mr. Coraletti. His face was red and puffy, his shirt was muddy, ripped, and saturated in what smelled like sweat, to salty to be pure water.
”Torrent…” he said correcting himself “Why did you run off.” He said between puffs of air.
Hmm, well let me think, perhaps I could have died being so close to fire. Then again I knew the other reason. My face drooped down along with my neck. My fists became clenched and a tear welled in my eye, threatening to spill over.
“It’s nothing.” I growled, my voice strained.What do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?It's awesome! I really love fantasy, so that's super interesting. I would LOVE it if you sent me more! simba_timmy@yahoo.com
Really, really good! :)What do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?The description is pretty good, though at times it's a little much. Also I would reccomend trying to combine some of the actions so that they do not seem so choppy.
Please Read my story and review.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…What do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?You know if she is easily this affected by a stove burner then being outside in the sun would be considered suicidal. It's nice to see she doesn't care about keeping who she is a secret though, that's a new twist on these tired old stories.What do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?Too flowery. Its like you're trying too hard to be shakespeare or something.What do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?ya, too floweryWhat do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?i really like the intro. Is being out in the sun not bad for her? make that more clear.What do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?That was great! i want to read more! :)What do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?Good. :D i loveee it %26lt;3What do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?i kind of like it, actually!
very descriptive.
it reminds me of Tithe, from Holly Black.
gosh, i love that series...
you have a few grammatical and spelling errors, but overall, it's pretty cool! =]]What do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?i love your book so far..... i love writing books and i think you could be a good book writer...and if this is your style of writing then stick with it beccause i would love to read the book...im actually sad that theres no more. well it is very intersting it does have grammer mistakes but publishers fix that...so keep writing it!!!What do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?AMAZING!!! The description in this isn't too much at ALL. It's perfect!! It's got great imagery. I could imagine the scene in my head. =] Excellent, I'm so jealous. XD (I might wanna become a writer someday too. ^^) You're an amazing writer; keep doing what you're doing. ^_^What do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?It sounded cool. I want to be an author too, and I'm writing a bunch of stories, but nothing like that. It was really good. I think you should change the whole jumping out of the window thing. That's a bit much! But, I liked how if she said %26quot;change%26quot; she would change. It was good for starters, but it needs more detail.What do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?It sounds good. I like the plot. But it just might be a little too descriptive. At least for me. Good luck!
Please answer mine! http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…What do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?That was pretty good!
And thanks for answering my question!!!What do you think of my story? PLEASE! PLEASE! ANSWER! PLEASE!?fo sho way tooooo flowery. what r u tryin to b an auther or somthin????????????
